


Company Rambles and Imagines

by blankdblank



Series: Company Rambles and Imagines [1]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Fluff and Humor, Original Character(s), Random & Short
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-12-04
Packaged: 2019-04-30 16:37:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 11,988
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14501160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blankdblank/pseuds/blankdblank
Summary: Random Company Imagines originally posted on my Tumblr page.





	1. Aye Aye Mon Capitan

Aye Aye Mon Capitan  
Imagine dying in this world and having your second life in Middle Earth but remembering everything. You get roped into the Journey, Bilbo won’t go without you because you’re the best warrior he has ever heard of and the only one he trusts to take him. You are mostly ignored by the upper ranks of the Durin clan, and when they do talk to you you end up throwing in phrases from our world that confuses them.   
Thorin, “Jaqi, you and Bilbo go find firewood.” You to him quickly and give a quick two finger mock salute, “Aye Aye, Mon Capitan.” As you turn and walk through the trees with Bilbo close behind. Something about it made Thorins eye twitch. The group around him all trying to guess at what it meant.   
You return and Ori quickly rushed to your side asking for a translation. “It’s an affirmative response to an order from a superior, roughly says, yes yes my captain."   
Thorin, "I am not a Captain.” Folding his arms over his chest with his nostril flaring a bit letting out a small growl.   
You, “Nor are you a King yet. You are the King to be.” Tossing another log into the fire you had just started. Thorin jumps to his feet and walks over to you ready to start yelling when you stand and turn to him pressing your finger to his chest.   
You, “Before you say anything just remember this, you are not King yet, and yet all these men all follow you and your orders because they believe in you, and you show them respect in return. I’ve respected you I’ve done everything you’ve said to and yet you can barely look me in the eye. You want me to call you my King at least give me the decency to look me in the eye when you give me an order. If your going to be the King to demand respect and give none in return or even make choices worthy of respect your Kingdom will fall to war and ruin before you have the chance to grow out you precious beard, especially with having to deal with the Master of Laketown and King Thranduil. The master especially, since he cares for nothing but attaining food and his piles of gold as his people starve around him. Thranduil rules well but keeping friends has never been a strength of his. Now” you fold your arms over your chest, “What were you going to say, your majesty?” Emphasizing the last to words while raising an eyebrow at him.   
Thorin lets out a low grumble, “I will do my best to be something worthy of your respect.” He turns to take his seat again.   
You, “I do respect you Thorin, I’ve met Dwarves more stubborn and bullheaded than you, just be sure that you say what you mean, quick words and actions almost always end badly.” He turns back around and looks you in the eye. “You will need patience and understanding, you’ve been dealt a harsh load in life, but don’t let that cloud you, sometimes you must accept less than you demand for the good of your people.” Those words echoing something his grandfather had told him and his cousins when they were younger. “There will be plenty of people lining up to spot in your face, and watch you fail, don’t give them the satisfaction of allowing it to happen."   
Thorin, "How do you know so much about this?"   
You, "I raised Elrond and Celeborn, and assisted Thranduil after his father fell, I still have seats on their counsels, you learn a lot over time."   
Thorin, "Why help me then if I don’t meet your standards?"   
You, "Thror didn’t either when he first entered Erebor and tried to start trade with Thranduil. It took months to calm Thror down and nearly a year after to get them to sit down silently at a table while I set out the terms. You’ll be fine, we’ve got several months to go, plenty of time for you to learn. And be less of the giant porcupine you are now."   
Thorin, "Porcupine….hmm. Fine if you’re willing to teach me, I’ll be willing to learn.” Giving you a small two finger mock salute in return before taking his seat again and offering you the seat next to him. Balin silently gesturing ‘finally’, now that Thorin is willing to learn from someone, quickly joining his King on the other side of him and joining in on his lesson while Dwalin dragged the Princes over to listen as well.


	2. Badass Ori

During the Journey you had come to find Ori as your little brother, joining his brothers in tending to his every need though rather than pushing him behind you you tended to pull him forward, to try and pull him out of his bubble and show him how strong he could really be. But Mahal save any creature that would dare insult him in your presence.  
You are in Erebor seeing to business in the areas of the shops halfway to the marketplace for food when you overhear something that sets every inch of your being on fire.  
A dwarrow behind you is whispering loudly to her two female cousins, “And then that little runt of a Dwarf was given the job of scribe.” Sending your skin prickling and making you clench your fists but waited to hear hoping it was about another scribe, for her sake.  
Dwarrow 2, “What sort of name is Ori anyway?”  
Dwarrow 3, “Barely looks capable of lifting an axe let alone defend a mountain.” Two of their male cousins walk over and join them, the shop owners by you overhearing their statements and silently sent for the King seeing the growing scowl on your face and the way your breath had quickened.  
Dwarf 1, “Barely able to kill a chicken in my opinion.”  
Dwarf 2, “And the King himself stating he fought beside him to defend the mountain, surely to shield the truth, that tiny runt of a dwarf was probably hiding within the walls of the mountain, too scared to face even the tiniest of goblins.”  
You turn and ask them clearly, “To which Dwarf are you referring?” They notice your distinct purple eyes, knowing you as another member of the Company. But the dwarrows simply smirked and continued their attack.  
Dwarrow 1, “That tiny runt of a dwarf, Ori that dared assume himself as a member of the Company of Thorin Oakensheild.” Bobbing her head proudly.  
Dwarrow 3, “Speak honestly, the King surely improved upon his role in the Company as to raise his reputation.”  
Dwarf 2, “Bad lot the whole bunch, a common thief for a brother, the other quite unremarkable.”  
You, “I should warn you they are my brothers, and it would not serve you well to insult them further.”  
Dwarf 1, “Ha! Then your place too is greatly embellished. Killer of Smaug, my foot! Surely the King humors his tall tales far too much.”  
Dwarf 2, “More likely Dain won the mountain and handed it to poor Thorin.”  
There was a loud internal crack as you suddenly saw the Dwarf flying ten feet away before slamming into the wall before realizing you had punched him. His brother now jumping on you, you quickly knock him unconscious as well as the sisters lunge at you, somehow they counted themselves as dwarves, the three of them physically far too flimsy to have ever been taught to fight even though their fathers were of the highest ranks in Dains Army.   
You quickly fought off the three women though the first dwarf male now awoke and took a swing at an uninvolved Dwarf due to his confusion from your punch, the second dwarf waking and doing the same, soon four innocent dwarves were drawn into the brawl then eight more and so there was nearly 50 dwarves and yourself fighting in the center of the shops as a loud shout was heard, “ENOUGH!!!!” The innocent dwarves now bowing deeply and moving to the side as they saw the King, who had arrived with Dain and the entire company, fuming until his eyes focused on you as you held the first Dwarrow, who began the insults, on her knees in front of you with you holding her arm behind her head in an attempt to get her to release your hair.   
The King quickly came to your side and removed your hair from her grip then you released her and she ran behind one of her male cousins.   
Thorin pulled you back towards the Company, “What started this?”   
You gave him a word for word recap and three store owners who had heard the whole thing all stepped forward as witnesses, that you only struck the first blow after they insulted the King.   
Dwarf law being you cannot attack unprovoked in defense of family a formal duel must be called, but in defense of the King it is allowed. Ori, Nori and Dori all stood with their eyes twitching, breathing deeply, death gripping the ledgers they were holding as Thorin stepped back forward and called the dwarves and dwarrows in question forward and announced and called for a formal duel for the Dwarves, stating that your part had dealt with the Dwarrows involved.   
Upon hearing this Ori, Nori and Dori both loudly dropped the ledgers they were holding and loudly cracking their knuckles and their necks as they lunged at the three Dwarves in question as the Dwarves looking on could see the true fear running across their faces as they finally made contact, after that day nobody drew Ori’s abilities in battle and everyone knew not to insult you, or the Company especially the King.


	3. Bombur vs Gloin

Gloin goes on and on about Gimli but one day you learn something interesting, Bombur has 14 children. So you innocently ask him about them and he gets this large smile while Gloin pales as he draws out his portraits from his pocket and it just keeps unfolding, leading to the next two months of him going into full detail about each of his bairns.  
Gloin, “I’m not that bad am I?”  
Bofur chuckled, “You’re worse.” Patting him on his back.


	4. Dolls

Joining the Company for the Journey, along the way they spot you crocheting small dolls curious what they are until they spot you presenting Gloin with a small doll based off of Gimli’s sketch earning you a large hug and his friendship in return. Bombur spent the better part of the next month showing you sketches of his 14 children and waiting patiently as you completed each of them complete with a small bag for them to stay in, the both of the only Father’s in the group clinging to the small dolls at night with smiles locked on their faces.  
After BotFa you left with Bilbo to collect his things and your little Sister and his Nephew Frodo. Your arrival was marked with your Sister screeching staring at the ground shouting, “King Thorin fell!” His head turned to spot a large number of Dwarves turning to him asking if he was alright before he went to inspect the cause. His eyes landed on you with your arms full with a small chest and reaching down to collect a small doll from the ground before handing it back to the small girl that looked exactly like a miniature version of you still seated on the carriage in the main entrance. She curled it back in her arms smoothing its black yarn hair down as Dwalin and Gloin rushed over to claim your arm fulls passing them to the Dwarves charged with moving your things upstairs to the Royal Wing while others tended to Bilbo and Frodo’s.  
Raising your arms for your Sister, which she happily curled into against your hip still clutching her doll while Frodo claimed Bilbo’s with a Giant Ram doll of his own. Turning to the King you offered a small bow of your head before he curled you in a quick side hug while smiling at your Sister before greeting her. Her smile grew and she held out her doll, “You do look like my doll!!”  
His smile grew as he let out a laugh, “It appears I do, though it seems your doll is missing the crown and coat.” Offering you another smile thrilled that you had returned finally ending his weeks of agony at your departure. He guided you upstairs helping you both unpack along with showing you the gifts he had made for you both. His night however remained sleepless, after watching you put your Sister to bed with her refusing to let go of the small doll, he spent the night forming a small miniature version of his crown along with asking Dori for help in making a small coat matching his for the small doll that was gifted to the beaming child in the morning, who continued to spend the rest of the day showing off her gifts to everyone she passed.  
And Kings Dain and Thranduil each taking several hours perfecting their own dolls while the other Dwarves fashioned small weapons for theirs.


	5. Dwarf trap

You and Thorin have a huge argument about Dwarves and their willingness to jump in traps.  
About a week later you set your trap. You feigned a sore knee so they left you and Bilbo at the campsite. You started by drawing a box into the dirt and setting up a row of sticks around it with an obvious rope wrapped around the inside with the rope laying on the ground headed for the tree branch it was underneath, the tree which you were sitting under, waiting to jerk on the rope.  
Sure enough Fili and Kili were the first to walk up to the makeshift box, their uncle Thorin quickly followed, all walking in small circles inside the box, Dwalin and the rest stopped and inspected it from the outside unable to fit.  
Fili, Kili, “Jaqi, What’s with the box?”  
That was your cue just as Thorin looked at you he saw you jerk the rope which wrapped around their ankles and lifted them into the air.  
Thorin was scowling furiously with his arms over his head, “I suppose I can see your point.”  
Fili and Kili both burst into laughter, “Ahh Good One Jaqi!!” You gently set them back down and all the rest of the group give you compliments on the sneakiness of your trap, making you and Bilbo roll your eyes furiously.


	6. Easier

‘Disaster’ had struck Erebor, the Princes’ nickname. Their latest prank thankfully backfiring and quickly spreading fast, a large blob of orange goo smelling curiously of ink and raspberry jam, leaking through the stairwells and well into the throne room. A few Dwarves were covered in the stuff and somehow it was making their skin burn, Balin was doing his best along with Oin to get their burning to stop. Balin spotted you as you entered the room, calling out, “Lass, I need you to fetch me some more ‘fdhoufhfdahf’, your mouth dropping slightly as he sounded it out slowly for you, against your better judgment through the screams from your friends you ran into the apothecary supply closet down the hall, why it was so far you would never get a logical answer to. Spotting the chest of vials, throwing the door open and lifting a few vials out trying to read the labels, “Runes…they’re all in RUNES!!” you muttered to yourself, you turned to the doorway as you heard another loud scream and Balin repeating the name again and “Lass Hurry!!”.   
Thorin and the Company had all entered the room asking, “What do you need?”  
Balin glanced up at them saying, “I sent the Lass to fetch a vile for me.”  
Their heads all turning as you shouted back, “What does it look like?!!”  
The group all chuckling as they realized what the problem was, as he shouted, “IT’S BLUE!!”  
you scanned all over the vials, shouting again, “HALF OF THEM ARE BLUE!!”  
“IT’S GOT LEAVES IN IT!!” Thorin’s shoulders were now violently shaking as he covered his face holding in his laughter, the others using each others shoulders to muffle their laughs as Dwalin was nearly flat against the King, his chest heaving violently with muffled laughter.  
you muttered to yourself, “Smartest Dwarf in the bunch and he sends me!! This would be easier if I could read Runes!!” shouting again as you lifted two vials, “IS IT THE ONE THAT’S BOAT AXE SQUIRREL, OR AXE HOE CROSS?” Thorin was now on his knees fighting for air, laughing with his face still covered as Dwalin was spread across his back, barely able to breathe.  
“WHAT? IT SAYS ‘fdhoufhfdahf’!!!!”   
your face dropped as you let out a small growl as they screamed again, you slammed the door shut and started to shove the chest along the floor at a running pace through the hallway of confused Dwarves, why none of them had helped you was beyond your reasoning.   
The Company all looking at you with tear filled eyes as they saw you enter, Balin raised his eyebrow at you as you stopped the chest right before him, he quickly opened the door as he let out a small huff, lifting the small vile and holding it for you to see before he pulled the cork out with his teeth, you rubbed your forehead as you pointed your finger and said, “Boat Axe Squirrel!”  
Balin squinted at the label before the fact dawned across him as he looked back at you with a fierce blush and his ears turning red, coughing for a moment as he said, “Sorry Lass, forgot.” The groups laughter now exploding as the injured Dwarves finally found some relief from their burns.


	7. Flour sacks

Imagine Kili and Fili being adamant that they are prepared for children so you give them the flour sack baby challenge.

“Now, one week, both of you will tend to and treat these as if they were your own children.”

Both, “But-”

“No buts! You say you’re ready, then prove it, if you can’t manage this then you’re not going to be able to handle actual babies.”

They roll their eyes but through the rest of the week they have to have a long discussion with their intendeds about possibly putting off children just a bit longer as they get more practice.


	8. Great King

Fili and Kili are arguing over something until Fili just fires back, “Uncle will know, he’s got to, Kings know everything!”  
Your snort from trying to hold in your laugh drew their attention as well as Thorin’s from across the camp as Kili asked, “What’s so funny?”  
You met his eyes with a soft chuckle, “I highly doubt there has ever been a King that knew everything.”  
Thorin’s arms crossed as Fili and Kili’s did the same, both of their mouths dropped open as well before Fili replied, “Our Uncle does! He’s one of the Great Kings of our line!”  
You drew in a quick breath holding back another giggle, “You misunderstand me,” Glancing between the three of them as the others looked on around you, “There are several types of Kings. Those that believe they know everything, the Good King that does his best and the Great King.”  
Kili, “Well our Uncle is a Great King, and he does know everything!”  
You glanced at Thorin quickly then back to Kili, “Then I suppose he could tell me what I have up my sleeve.”  
Their eyes narrowed as Thorin mumbled, “What does that..”  
Your eyes met his, “Oh it has everything to do with this. For example, Dwalin has just drug me before you alongside Fili who’s spent the last hour shouting that I’ve stolen the King’s dagger and hidden it on my person. Now what is your next move? Do you order me to be searched at your Nephews word alone. But say he wasn’t your Nephew, or rather another thief, such as Nori or Bilbo, what then?”  
His eyes narrowed slightly and dropped to the ground, “Either way there would have to be more than just statements to have anyone searched, a thorough interview would have to be made of each Dwarf in the area at the time.” His eyes meeting yours with a curious expression, “What, in your mind differs a Good King from a Great King?”  
“A Good King tries his best with what he knows and what is offered to him, a Great King asks for what he has missed and couldn’t possibly know.” His eyes darting to your hand as your flicked it up revealing his dagger with a deep sapphire in the hilt from King Thror in a quick spin, griping it at the base of the blade causing him to rummage through his jacket reaching for its normal hiding spot before facing you again, “How did you…?”  
Your growing smile silenced him, “A Great King also understands he won’t always find answers to his questions.” You passed the dagger to Fili who delivered it to his Uncle before they asked him their question that ended up being answered by Bilbo.  
The rest of the week the three of them kept an eye on you wondering how you’d managed the thievery only to find each day yet another of Thorin’s hidden treasures hidden amongst your person sparking a whole other round of wondering how and when you’d been digging through his various pockets and how he hadn’t felt it when you’re rarely within ten feet of him. All leading to a more heated round of dreams for the King as his imaginations ran wild about your focusing on him.


	9. I’m not touching you

Imagine Fili and Kili walking around mimicking you after you tap Bilbo’s nose once, after two days of this, you turn and you jokingly ask them, “are you mocking me?"   
Fili/Kili both tap each other on the nose again before answering "Maybe, it’s such a silly thing to do"   
Dwarves aren’t allowed to touch women without permission, so the next day, you start tapping their noses when they least expect it, they can’t retaliate, they try to tap you but Balin, Thorin and Dwalin all stop them, “You know the rules boys.”  
So you keep sneaking up behind them when they are talking to someone, and tapping them on the nose, increasing their frustration daily. One night they escalate it, they put flowers and leaves in your hair when you were sleeping so the next night you start doing pranks on the others, leaving clues it was the Princes.  
Starting with mocking them by putting flowers and leaves woven into each of the Dwarves hair and beards, their minds snapped to the Princes until they noticed the skill placed into where the flowers and leaves were placed into their hair so they wouldn’t mess up their hair and remove far easier than they had imagined to remove, much to the intrigue of the other Dwarves.  
…  
The first night, you took Gloin’s gold pouch and hid it in one of Fili’s bags, leaving a clue , a coin tucked halfway into Fili’s pocket. A bag that the Princes would never be able to take out of his pocket without waking him, and it was even heavier when he got it back, now half full of beautiful jewels as well with Vines woven through his beard.  
…  
The next, you took Nori’s favorite pocket knife and hid it hanging out of Kili’s boot, a knife that he had never even shown to anyone in the group but you, and had found it oiled and polished when he found it with flowers all placed through his hair.  
Along with Dori’s watch, freshly polished, found hidden inside Dwalin’s bag with a blonde hair conspicuously wrapped around the chain .  
Ori was barely scathed, his latest scarf was wrapped around his ponies neck, who was asked kindly not to let it fall or get anything on it, and had a massive beard woven intricately with a matching mustache and full head of hair that slightly resembled Gloin’s hair and beard, beaming with pride at his new hair, having to take it out though due to it being a windy day.  
…  
The next night  
Bifur found one of his new toys he’d been working on hidden safely in an owls nest with a flower beard down to his belt which he chose to wear for two days straight before the flowers started to lose their colors.  
Bofur’s hat was also found on one of the ponies with flowers woven into his pigtails with a hat identical to his made of woven leaves also wearing it for three days before it started to collapse.  
Bombur found his ladle hidden inside Kili’s bag with flowers braided through his beard keeping them in for three days until they stopped at a lake and washed his beard.  
…  
The next,  
Oin’s ear horn was found stuffed in their uncles coat with long vines braided through his long hair and beard, how she managed to get it there without him waking up or even feeling it.  
Balin found his favorite belt stuffed into Fili’s bag with an intricate flower beard.  
Dwalin found his axe newly cleaned and hidden wrapped in a bag and hidden between two rocks underneath Thorin’s head, again to the shock of Thorin who didn’t feel it being placed under his head or even wake him up and not mess up his hair either, leaving Dwalin with a flower beard that wrapped around and wove into his hair and up over his scalp into a giant mowhawk refusing to remove it and admiring his new hairdo in his reflection on his newly polished axe, loving his new hairdo, missing his old mohawk.  
…  
The Dwarves all see the clues that you were doing this, but chose to play along and feigned anger at the Princes who keep blaming you, none of the others choosing to do anything about it because they brought it on themselves.  
…  
The next night.  
Fili you took all of his weapons put them in a bag and hid it in one of the tree branches hanging above the campsite, and he woke up waist deep in the lake near the campsite, with his pants, socks and boots folded neatly on his empty bedroll wearing Kili’s shirt and coat, with a woven flower crown, and leaving Bombur, who was on watch far richer and in possession of some of your most secret recipes.  
Kili you managed to undress and put filis clothes on him backwards, weapons included, with a flower crown identical to Fili’s.  
…  
On the last night,  
Thorin woke up with a woven flower crown with vines woven into a long intricate beard tucked into his belt and went down to his knees, braided into his small beard, He was again shocked and impressed at your skills.  
Dwalin walked over to you while Thorin was admiring his reflection in Dwalins polished axe, and calmly asks, “You did this?” gesturing to his and Thorin’s heads  
You, “Yes”  
Dwalin, “Well done lass, he knew it wasn’t the boys they can’t manage a prank without laughing and tipping you off”  
The Princes now almost ruining his moment of admiration by starting yet another rant on how they were letting you get away with all this, and if they did any of this they would be dead.  
Thorin, “Yes you would be. Fine I speak to her.”  
Fili/Kili, “finally, she gets to do whatever she wants and we can barely breathe without a lecture."   
Thorin, pulled a single flower from the very bottom of his long beard, smelled it quickly and smiled to himself again before turning and walking over to where you were seated, approaches you holding the flower,   
Thorin, “Jaqi, I…”  
you look up to see he can’t find words,  
so you smile, stand up and, you take it from him, "A flower for me? That’s so sweet. It’s beautiful, Thank you.” And lean forward and kiss him on the tip of the nose, Thorin sharing at you in shock, you just look up at him and smile.   
The Princes are standing with the group, all of them watching, all but the Princes smiling at this, they give a small glare in your direction,   
Kili, “…oh, she is good…” Thorin just turning and walking away stunned   
Fili, “You really told her…"   
Kili, "oh ya, don’t know how she’ll manage to bounce back from that one.” Both rolling their eyes and turning away to go plan their revenge.


	10. Inventing the elevator

Being in Erebor and the dwarves always being late to meetings because they always meet somewhere different so you just have the entire group just roaming around the mountain until they find the rest of their group.  
Thorin, “Well it seems the B brothers went to the east meeting room. Lets go there then.”  
This was your last straw, your legs and feet were throbbing this was the fifth time today you had to walk all the way to the other side of the mountain climbing ten flights of stairs at least each way. You stand and slam your ledgers and papers as they all stand to leave.  
“NOBODY MOVE!!!” You let out a sharp whistle and a raven from the hallway outside flew through the little cutouts in the wall for ravens to fly freely, and landed in front of you as you scribble a note on a slip of paper and pass it to the raven, “Hello Darling.” The Raven puffing up happily at your endearment, “Could you find Bifur, Bombur and Bofur please and give this to them and also, make sure they get here quickly. If anyone tries to stop them, feel free to give them a sharp peck so they know to save it for later, I’ll take the blame for it, don’t worry.” Winking at the Raven still sitting there happily as it grabs the slip with one of its feet. It flew off as you slumped back into your chair and crossed your arms as the Dwarves all stared at you and akwardly sat down a few at a time as you mumbled, “Utter nonsence.” The Company all greeting the brothers as they joined them informing them about the violent attacks the raven had dealt out to five dwarves along the way.  
Later that day you got permission from Thorin to build several elevators, that went to three floors each so you wouldn’t have to wait hours to go to the top of the mountain and a group in each corner of the mountain to avoid this in the future along with setting strict meeting places for the Dwarves much to their annoyance, but finally agreeing if you set rotating meeting rooms so it wouldn’t be the same everyday, but at the same time everyone would know where they needed to go.


	11. Kittens

Four hours of screaming and pointless lecturing from the Dwarf Council later you were contently curled in your usual armchair in the Royal Wing Smoking room beside the King’s chair finishing the last corner of embroidery on the shirt the King had asked you to repair. Even with all the seamstresses at his disposal your sturdy stitches were the only ones he wished to bear.  
So when he’d heard what you’d endured taking his place this place this morning to allow him a free morning to rest his sore shoulder from one of his Nephew’s blundered pranks your side was the first place he sought out to be.  
“I heard you had a rough morning.”  
“Hmm?” Your eyes rose to meet his with a soft smile, “oh, not really, got them to cave even after their lectures.”  
He settled in the seat at your side adjusting the sling Oin had fashioned for him, “I’ll speak with them.”  
“No need.”  
His brow rose and Dwalin, who was still staring at you sternly curious about how you were so calm said, “She just sat there with a smile…wont say how..”  
You lowered your eyes back to the shirt in your hands, “I told you you have to be stern and stoic during the meetings if I tell you you’ll just giggle through them.”  
Thorin, “Try me.”  
You sigh meeting his eyes again, “When people start to irritate me I picture kittens on their shoulders rubbing their faces on the persons cheeks.” Smirks slid on their faces and they fought to contain their bubbling laughs rubbing their faces.  
Little did they know you were right and the very next meeting got a very late start as the pair burst out laughing and put the meeting back a good ten minutes not even counting their loud laughs erupting through the following debates.


	12. Moments

You are found injured by the Company and they are debating wether or not to allow you to join them and Thorin turns back to you when they are deadlocked over what to do.  
Thorin, “Lass, half of my men seem to believe you could be of use to us.” Crossing his arms, “I am however, not among that half, convince me. What do you have to offer our group?”  
You draw in a shaky breath looking up at him from your spot on the ground they had ordered you to remain in while they spoke with Dwalin watching you for their protection with their backs turned, “I, have my moments…” at a loss for what else you could possibly offer them on their secret quest.  
Thorin nods drawing in a breath and turns to Bilbo, “She’s riding with you Master Baggins.” You just sit there blinking as they head for their ponies until Dwalin helps you up onto the pony behind Bilbo who is slightly excited for another outsider to speak with along the way.  
And as they each started to doubt your place within the first few days the small few times you input your opinions or suggestions they did in fact seem helpful. And you were not in fact ‘unimpressively mediocre’ as you had claimed, just merely in need of polishing a few skills that you clearly bested them at.


	13. Mushrooms

Having a mushroom allergy. In Hobbit culture it is impossibly rude to criticize or suggest changes to a family recipe. Bombur says that for the entire journey he will be using his family recipes almost all of them using mushrooms. So you just keep eating the food you brought for the journey and politely refuse almost every meal he makes.   
You also stay away from the group on those days and Thorin wonders why you hold your breath when taking to anyone after they eat the food Bombur makes. Breakfast is safe until he makes omlettes, lunch is 50/50, but mostly dinner is a complete no. The dwarves keep asking Bilbo why she won’t eat Bombur’s cooking, he just says it’s not meant as an insult, it’s common in Hobbit culture to refuse food if they cook that meal differently, thinking they understood but they keep pushing it.   
Gandalf comes back after nearly a month away, sees Bombur pouting about you not eating his dinners as he sets up his giant pot and pulls out his ingredients for the night.  
Gandalf, “Mushrooms…hmm…” He glances at you then back to Bombur. “I suppose she is far enough away.”  
Bombur, “What?” Looking at you and back to Gandalf.  
Gandalf, “She’s allergic to mushrooms.”  
Oin, “WHOS LETHARGIC?”  
Thorin and the rest walk over  
Thorin, “Who’s injured?”  
Gandalf, “Allergic…I said allergic…”  
Thorin, “Who is allergic to what?”  
Gandalf, “Jaqi is allergic to mushrooms.”  
Kili, “What’s allergic?”  
Gandalf, “It means if she eats them she will swell up and die, sometimes just the smell of them can do it, that’s why she stays away from mushrooms, and if you ever see lavender grab her and run. It does not end well.”  
Bombur’s eyes pop open and all of the Dwarves rush to the bags of ingredients and start digging for Mushrooms as Ori pulls out a small notebook and takes note of Gandalf’s instructions before joining the group.   
You are returning back to camp when Bilbo is hit in the head with a Mushroom then looking up in the air and just barely catching another as it almost collides with the top of your head.  
Bilbo, “It’s raining mushrooms.” holding his catch up to your eye level before he tossed it back over his shoulder as you continue back to the campsite to see the dwarves throwing the mushrooms as far away from camp as possible. When Ori sees you he nudges Dwalin with his elbow who does the same to Balin, who jerks Thorin back upright by the back of his shirt the rest all straightening back up as Bombur clears his throat.  
Bombur, “Why didn’t you just say so lass?”  
You, “For Hobbits it’s considered rude to criticize someones family recipe, It’s one of the rudest things you can do to someone, insulting to their entire family.”  
Bilbo, “Hobbits have been run out of Hobbitons for that.”  
Bofur, “But you’d DIE, Lass!” holding his arms out to his sides in emphasis.  
Thorin, “Any other allergies we need to know about, Gandalf mentioned mushrooms, lavender.”  
You, “Banannas and almonds.” Ori opening his notebook again and adding them to the list quietly.  
Thorin, “You , Bilbo?”  
Bilbo, “Nutmeg and asparagus.”  
Thorin leans over to Balin and whispers, “Once we are back in Erebor, none of that is allowed in the Royal Wing.”  
Bombur, “It’s not an insult to me lass, I want you to let me know any time if theres something I cook that you can’t eat, make as many critiques or suggestions as you like, that’s how Dwarf recipes take shape, most of our traditional meals lack spice or flavor, any tip is helpful.” The entire group nods as Thorin orders his nephews that the pot and utensils to be rescrubbed, they quickly fill their arms and run to the river nearby. Bomber then goes through his bag and pulls out his recipe book and asks you and Bilbo to go through it and give tips and changes, the group very happy after at the great improvement on the taste of his meals for the remainder of the journey.


	14. Musical Chairs

Telling the Dwarves about Musical chairs on the Journey and they start a giant game at the Coronation, after several hours of drinking, the last few chairs the Dwarves are shoving and hitting each other, eventually turning into a giant fist fight until you break up the fight and remind them that they have to be in the chair when the music stops, causing them to sprint back and leap into the remaining chairs that had been thrown across the floor. Eventually you leave the party early because they get way too invested in it and it starts another fist fight.


	15. Nighttime wandering

Imagine your skin glows in the darkness like the Elves do.  
You spend your nights roaming through the library in the newly reclaimed Erebor, not needing a light, causing the Dwarves to believe the Mountain was haunted, leading to several of them forming some ghostbusters esque group to help free the spirit trapped wandering their kingdom


	16. Penguins

The entire group wandering in small circles each choosing a small stone and offering it to you, nodding at each others choices as you thanked each of them for the stones, placing them carefully into your pack wondering to yourself, “Why stones…is this like a penguin thing?” Giggling to yourself quietly imagining them as tiny penguins each building a nest for you to choose between them. Finally accepting that either they were trying to woo you or build up your strength, rubbing your sore shoulders and back as you bathed alone. They finally stopped after the straps on your bag had torn, each of them collecting the stones they had given you telling you they would carry them for you until Erebor, each eventually learning the weight they had forced upon you before reaching Mirkwood, leading to some very confused Elves finding nothing on the Dwarves but pockets and bags full of stones.

Thranduil asking you alone, “What’s with the stones?”

You just shrug in response making him rub his forehead and cave into helping you. After reclaiming Erebor they all forged their stones into beautiful jewels and jewelry piling them all into neat stack in your room, each somehow all being waist high and leaving you to make your choice.


	17. Raining Dwarves

Falling to middle earth Gandalf claims you’re their seer and guide  
You’re in the back of the line when it starts raining, you quietly sing it’s raining men to yourself not thinking the Dwarves can hear you, they partly think you’re insane for your repetitive jibberish of a song.  
Later that night at, half past ten, four of the younger Dwarves fall out of a tree trying to prank you.  
Balin checks his pocket watch and shows it to Thorin : “it’s half past ten.”  
Thorin: “get her a contract”  
They all start trying to guess which one of them is supposed to court you assuming your song was about courtship.


	18. Ribs of steel

One of your comments about your clothing had been taken way out of context and the Princes found themselves searching to see for themselves if it was true or not. Through your latest training session you’d noticed their shift in attacks from mainly your arms and sweeping your legs to stealing jabs at your ribs.   
One jab in particular sent a familiar sting through your side. As you rolled and climbed to your feet again Thorin noticed their rule defying jabs finally as he’d returned from hunting for dinner. Shouting for them to fetch more wood for the night and end your training early that night. They turned to the trees as you trekked to the stream nearby, pausing as you’d reached the edge lifting your shirt feeling a warm trickle down your side, raising it to your bust blocking your bra from view and wincing as you pulled the small metal curved band from your side.  
Raising it to grip it between your teeth before lifting the other side to your shirt to dig out the other marching supportive band before it could harm you not noticing the open mouthed Princes in the trees to your right as you knelt to rinse the blood from your side slipping the bands in the pocket on the side of your leg.


	19. Ridikulus

You wake up in Middle Earth they’re debating keeping you. A warg and Orc pack sneaks up on you you mumble ridikulus and the wargs turn into golden retriever puppies and the Orcs turn to piles of glitter.  
Thorin, “Get her a contract. Finally a Wizard of some substance.”  
Bofur, “Wizard Lass could you do something about this deluge?”


	20. Rubik’s Cube

Imagine making your own Rubik’s cube after falling to Middle Earth. One of your many clubs in school was a competitive Rubik’s cube team.  
The Dwarves sit there night after night watching you whittling away for a week before this intricate cube is formed and it’s another night of them eyeing it curiously as you carved different designs into each of the sides before going to sleep. During the following day you spend most of it blindly mixing it up and solving it again within minutes.  
Bifur watches you through the first day eagerly asking, through Bofur, if you would let him do the mixing so he could examine the intricate cube farther. He would mix it with his back to you before passing it back, he and his brother would eagerly watch as you solved it again.  
The Princes soon found out about it after and joined in soon drawing each of the others into the game. Thorin, Dwalin And Balin are the last to learn of your game by lunch, their eyes trailed your fingers as they flicked the sides back into place.  
Thorin, “Does it open when it’s solved?”  
Bofur, “Not that I’m aware.”  
Dwalin huffed, “Then why bother with it at all?”  
Bofur, “It makes her happy, and keeps her mind occupied, we haven’t exactly been the friendliest of Company before this.”  
Thorin makes sure you’re on his watches for the next week making sure to claim the seats at your side. Volunteering to mix it for you, realizing as he did how difficult the task really was increasing the groups gambling for a bit and surprise when you could make patterns along the sides with the images.  
Your final watch together in the week you’d grabbed the cube again from Thorin after he’d mixed it again. Twisting and turning it before handing it back revealing the images you’d hidden within the designs.  
-The hidden image that’s on his map.  
-Tolkien’s poem about the return of the King of Gondor in Dwarf Runes with Thorin’s Mark etched underneath, along with the Companies’ symbols  
-Bilbo’s song  
-The symbol for the Arkenstone in the center with another quote from Tolkien added in Khuzdul, “A single dream is more powerful than a thousand realities.”  
His lips parted in shock taking in each detail before looking at you spotting your quick smile before turning back to your watch.


	21. Songs

Dancing and dreaming  
Kili/Fili and Bilbo are collecting firewood for the camp and Kill quietly sings ‘the dancing and the dreaming - from How to train your dragon 2′ to himself, Thorin used to sing it to him and Fili when they were babies to get them to stop crying, his heart song, Bilbo starts walking closer to him recognizing the tune. Bilbo, “Jaqi used to sing that to me, after I lost my parents, she’d hold me, sing it and dance until I’d smile.”  
Fili and Kili’s heads perk up at this, both smirk and dump their armfuls of firewood into bilbos and go start planning with the company

Thorin Songbird  
You killed Smaug, fixed the plumbing and the large kitchen on the Ground floor for banquets, the company settles in fixing up a small table, you eat dinner then go exploring, you are wandering with Bilbo as you find a large ballroom and a covered dark grey marble piano, the Company all find you, noticing you running your fingers over the keys trying to find the right notes to start the song that’s been stuck in your head all day.  
Thorin, “Would you play for us?”  
You giggle, “There’s been a song stuck in my head all day, kind of fitting, but a little over the top for now though.”  
Bofur, “We’d still like to hear it lass.”  
You sing them ‘This is the Moment - by Celtic Thunder’ - give it a listen-  
your voice carrying through the halls causing the mountain to wake up and start sending pulses through the kingdom starting to heal itself and seal itself from any attack. The group enjoys it so much Thorin asks you to teach him the words so he can sing it at his Coronation banquet, which you do gladly. After the battle when Dains and Thranduil’s men are lying wounded in the mountain, you stumble your way into the banquet hall again, singing it after The Princes asked you to, they threw open every door they could find so your voice carried through the mountain, as the Company comes to your side and join you as your voice causing the mountain walls to glow and send out old magic pulses healing the wounded including you and fixing itself.  
His voice being much more suited for the song, and being the far better version as all the dwarves add in to the melody with the orchestra behind him, earning thundering applause.

 

Fight Song  
Random imagine - The Company has a huge fight and are losing the will to press on, you go to your usual spot just outside the group to stargaze as they try to sleep, you quietly sing Fight song to yourself, making the stars dance around you, with fireflies joining you, the song turns into the Companies anthem, they keep singing to themselves through the journey and ask you to sing it with them at the rebuilding banquet in Erebor.

Trying not to do song based imagines but I couldn’t help it with this one…I listen to music at work so I get a lot on my playlists that I can see sharing with the company. After this one was ‘Beneath your beautiful’ for Thranduil…OK cold turkey starting today…*Deep breaths*

 

Friends  
You had fallen into Middle Earth and found yourself to be the burden of King Thorin, grandson of the great King Thror. For weeks they had not left you out of their sight except for your bathroom breaks which, understandably due to your female status, had earned you a few minutes of privacy. Mostly keeping quiet as they decided to protect you until a safe location was found, but not befriend you.  
It was your turn to keep watch with Bofur, both keeping watch at opposite sides of camp when he heard you silently singing to yourself as song that had been stuck in your head all day.  
Oh  
There’s a moment in this journey that I gave up  
My boots just couldn’t walk another mile  
And that cloud above me had no silver lining  
I couldn’t buy a break with my last dime  
Oh but when I saw you standing in the corner  
I’d never thought that you would have my back  
But then we rolled in like the thunder and the lightning  
Threw some punches then we had a laugh  
Just some roughed up desperados  
Hanging tough through thick and thin  
Kicking up dust wherever we go  
I can see that you and me are gonna be friends  
Who’d thought we’d wind up here together?  
It’s crazy that we’re standing side by side  
Fighting just like two birds of a feather  
Who’s gonna tell us now that we can’t fly?  
Just some roughed up desperados  
Hanging tough through thick and thin  
Kicking up dust wherever we go  
And I can see that you and me are gonna be friends  
To the end you and me are gonna be friends  
Yeah  
Here we go  
Hey, hey you and me  
Different as different can be  
You like to rock, I like to roll  
You take the high, I’ll take the low  
Woah, woah-oh, woah-oh  
Just some roughed up desperadoes  
Hanging tough through thick and thin  
Kicking up dust wherever we go  
I can see that you and me are gonna be friends  
To the end you and me are gonna be friends  
And I can see that you and me are gonna be friends, yeah.  
Going through the versus a few times quietly to yourself until the melody stopped playing through your mind.  
For the next week Bofur insisted you teach him the melody, since he’d already memorized the words and rhythm, and he quietly taught the rest of the group, even the three head Durins caving into the catchy tune, finding befriending you irresistible to them since then.


	22. Stretch Marks

You had been thrown into another world when you were on your way to go camping, so at least you had supplies, but you could never be prepared to handle the Company of Dwarves and all their quirks.  
You had just finished bathing and started to put your clothes back on, it took a long time for Thorin to be accepting of you bathing with the Company, preferring not to be attacked when you were naked and alone, and bathing near a large group of Dwarves and a Hobbit was more comfortable for you, though Thorin’s rule being they could not come within ten feet of you.  
Kili walked over to you and noticed your stretch marks on one of your hips that wrapped around your lower belly, “Those are some nasty scars, what kind of creature left those on you?”  
You couldn’t help it but your eyes filled with tears and you turned your face slightly to the right and told him, “I wasn’t attacked by any creature.” And you finished pulling your shirt on, pulled your jacket on one arm, grabbed your bag and walked back to camp wiping away the tears. Thorin noticing this walked over to the now small crowd of Dwarves all commenting on what the Prince could have said.  
Thorin, “Why is she crying Kili?”  
Kili, “I only asked her about the scars on her sides and what creature had left them, she said she wasn’t attacked by any creature, started crying and walked off.”  
Gloin and Bomber now face palming and scowling at Fili.  
Gloin, “They’re not scars lad, they’re stretch marks, and they’re not to be made lightly of.”  
Fili, “How were we to know that?”  
Kili, “What are stretch marks?”  
Bombur, “Normally people get them when they gain or lose weight, women mostly get them when they have children, now the lass has said she’s never had children or even been courted, so she probably took you commenting on them as making fun of her.”  
Fili and Kili both look at each other then both run over to you and squeeze you into a large hug and apologize for being so rude. You told them that you used to be really big when you were a kid, and also were always short, but after a huge growth spurt, that afterwards you were still under 5 feet, you had lost a lot of weight, but had been left with stretch marks all over your stomach, hips, legs, arms and even around your chest, leaving you terribly picked on growing up, with several people telling you nobody would find you attractive. You made sure to tell them you knew they weren’t making fun of you, you’re just a tad sensitive on the subject. Each of the Dwarves all showing you several of their scars and even their stretch marks, and telling you that at least with Dwarves your marks were a symbol of beauty, held higher than battle scars, showing the strength of your body and it’s will to endure anything, assuring you that if anyone ever said anything to you that hurt you again he wouldn’t be breathing long. Thorin later finding you and whispering to you, “You are one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen, any man would be honored to court you.”  
You, “Even without a beard?”  
Thorin chuckled and wrapped his arm around your shoulder, placing his head against yours, “Especially without the beard.” Making you chuckle in return before leaning in for a full hug, him squeezing you tightly in return.


	23. Teasing the King

You’re hit by a car and wake up in Valinor. You leave breadcrumbs for everyone when they’ll need them in the future. i.e. You sneak into Erebor and build the door.  
Thorin, “So we just have to be at the right spot right as the sun is setting.”  
You face palm, shake your head slightly then look to Thorin, “Moon Runes, Thorin.”  
Thorin, “What? Yes, that is what the Moon Runes said.”  
You, “Ithildin, Thorin, it lights up in Moonlight. To find the keyhole you have to wait for the Moon.”  
Thorin, “How do you know this?” All the Dwarves staring at you intently.  
You, “Because I built the door Thorin, honestly even if we miss the date I know where the keyhole is.”  
Thorin, “How can you be so sure?”  
You stand up, brush off your clothes and walk to the log where Thorin is seated and pull out your copy of the key, “You are the edge of the Mountain, there is a hidden staircase built on the side of the Mountain.” You step to his right and face away from him “You take seven steps *Purposely taking large duck-like kicking paces towards The Princes seated directly across from their Uncle as the group tries not to laugh.* “And the keyhole is right here.” holding your bent arm out in front of you pointing at the imaginary keyhole in front of you, then you turn and look at Thorin.  
Thorin then mimicking your actions, much to the amusement of you and the group, before holding out his arm similar to the way you did with you correcting the height of his arm. Thorin memorizing the arm placement of his arm exactly, as the Princes explode with laughter, the group quickly following after as Fili asks, “I get the arm placement, but why does he have to walk like that?”  
Bofur adding on, “Yes isn’t the keyhole going to be on the wall, starting point is important, but number of paces not so much unless its a curved or slanted wall.”  
You, “It’s a flat wall, so paces are unimportant. Just wanted to see if he’d copy me.” The group, including Thorin laughing at this.


	24. They’re staring at me!!!

Erebor is reclaimed. You had been given a house in he Royal Wing as you had been the one to Kill Smaug and help destroy the Ring.   
You had refused the giant mountain of treasure and had asked for a small chest instead and a job, though you had quickly ended up with five, with barely a moment to rest or a quiet moment to yourself.   
You had finished your shift in the forges and gone back home to bathe, you glanced at the clock and saw that you had twenty minutes before your next shift, so you had put off finishing getting dressed and tried to work in a quick chapter from your newest book.   
You had your hair braided on the sides in swirls and a thick braid down the center of your head, in your usual fashion with jeweled clasps fastening the braids, in your bra that hooked in the front and panties with a small pair of shorts that you always wore under your pants, you had a habit of tearing your pants, you were lying flat on your stomach across the foot of our bed with a pillow under your chin propped up on your elbows, bouncing your feet in the air as you got lost in the book.   
After a mere ten minutes you were torn out of your imaginary world as the Company, and Dis all charged into your house all in an uproar over some ‘great insult’ they had been given by Dain and his men when they had tried to intervene in the argument between the Iron Hills and the men of the newly rebuilt Dale, something that had been happening at least twice a week since the rebuild, due to the men’s lack of experience of running a city and refusal to just ask for help.   
You had been the one called upon to go and deal with this as you were found to be terrifying by both sides and had far more patience for the situation then Thorin, them eventually referring to you in this and nick naming you the Hobbit Queen as Thorin had named you the highest person next to him to refer to for pretty much any problems they were having.   
They all made their way through the hallway to your room as you closed your book, sat up and stared at the door waiting for them. The group all pooled themselves into the room before turning and all the men going silent as they noticed your appearance.   
Balin, “Sorry lass, didn’t mean to disturb you."   
You shrug, "Not a problem, so what did Dain do this time?"   
Thorin stood with a stunned look, "umm…"   
Dwalin nudges his brother quickly and Balin gives you a quick recap.   
You groan and put your chin on your folded fingers with your elbows on your crossed legs, taking a deep breath, "I think it’s best if they don’t speak for a long time after this. I might have to move to Dale if this keeps up.” Groaning again. “Why can they not just ask for help…"   
Dis had walked to your side and had reached out and started feeling the straps of your bra, examining the pattern, "This is soft, is it comfortable?"   
You, "Yes, very, at least until after you sweat a lot.” She grabs a strap and pulls on it causing your chest to jiggle examining the durability and support. “I can have a pattern made for you if you like."   
Dis, "I would like that very much, thank you."   
Thorin nudges his nephews, "Stop staring."   
Fili, "You stop.” Earning another nudge from his uncle.   
Thorin, “Kili, stop."   
Kili stood there with his fixed stern face locked into a staring contest with your chest, "They won’t stop staring at me.” The group chuckling at this as you climbed off the bed, breaking his contest as you turned and grabbed your pile of clothes. Quickly pulling your tank top on, pulling on your knee length socks, one of the pairs Ori had made for you, then pulling on your pants, bouncing from side to side as you pulled them over your hips.   
Bofur leaned over and whispered to Bifur, “Never seen them bounce that much on the Journey.” Earning a nod from his brother.   
Dwalin, “Must’ve strapped them down.” The other Dwarves all grunting in agreement as you pulled your belt on then your boots, finally grabbing your vest and pulling it over your chest and buttoning it before strapping your bag around your waist and walking to the group.   
Your chest had indeed grown since the end of the journey due to your ability to continue you usual diet, even though you were half elf you had always leaned more to your Hobbit side physically except for the large hairy feet, so you had regained your curves which Thorin and his men had attributed to your layered Hobbit clothing.   
You, “Alright, lets go find the giant children then…” the group all chuckling as they followed you, the Princes taking extra effort to watch you from now on as you walked and went up and down stairs, comparing your bounce and jiggle as your outfits changed.


	25. You’re a Dwarf

Imagine Thorin being all gloomy and depressed about him not being good enough to be King. You’re all preparing for his first meeting with Thranduil and Dain as the newly crowned King.   
He’s standing with his head down wringing his hands shaking slightly, muttering to himself in Khuzdul practicing what he’s going to say and berating himself saying, “…no…no, that won’t do…"   
You promptly walk over to him, grab two handfuls of his giant fur coat and shake him twice.   
You, "Thorin stop that! You are a Dwarf damnit, Act Like It!!! You see a problem you go straight on and slam your face into it. None of that, ‘Oh woe is me, I can’t do this.’ Now go out there and tell them to go suck on a rock if they don’t like what you have to say, You’re a King. They’ll just have to deal with it.” You let go of his coat, straighten it back as he and the group all beams at you, and give him the I’m watching you signal with your hands as you turn and go take your seat in the meeting room with the other waiting leaders.   
The Dwarves all holding in their laughter until you left the room, Thorin practically doubled over in laughter with his hands on his knees, Dwalin now almost on the floor with Bofur who was already on his knees almost.   
Fili/Kili both wiping tears from their eyes, “…Go suck a rock…."   
Thorin, "I am throwing that in, no matter what.” Balin wiping tears from his eyes and helping Thorin straighten back up before they all do the same and they all go take their places.   
….   
During the meeting, Dain makes a suggestion that is more of a demand that he is unwilling to budge on.   
Dain, “Thorin, this HAS to happen! The Kingdom should not be run any other way!"   
Thorin, "Dain, if you do not like how my Kingdom is run feel free to go Suck on a rock!” Several Dwarves all doing a spit take as the Company all tries their best to hide their laughter.   
Dis turns her face to Thorin in shock, “Thorin!"   
Thorin very cooly grabs his cup and takes a small drink and continues, "I am King! Same to you anyone else if they don’t like what I say.” Before sneaking a wink at you. Legolas and Thranduil both looking at you smirking knowing you started this both hiding their chuckles.


	26. Yo-Yo

You’re sitting to the side as the Dwarves are debating to take you along with them. You pull out your yo-yo and start playing with it. The Princes draw the others attention to it by moving closer as Bofur asks, “How’s she doing that?” Translating for his brother.  
They move closer and you show the Princes how to use it bringing the group closer as you corrected him, “No it’s more of a flick.”  
Thorin peeks in your bag, “What else have you got in there?”


	27. Dream Durin

Had a random idea pop in my head at work. Being on the Journey, before being best friends with the Company, and one morning you wake up avoiding even looking at the group at all costs and seeing really downcast.  
Bilbo, worried about you goes to your side asking, “Y/n, what’s wrong.”  
“It’s silly.”  
His hand settles on yours, that are folded on your lap, stirring a tensing through the Dwarves at the un-requested contact between you going against normal Dwarven tradition not to have any contact unless given permission first. Stabbing more at a certain Dwarf when he sees it. “Nothing you say could possibly be silly if it is affecting you this greatly.” Now gently rubbing your back as you wipe a stray tear from your cheek.  
Softly you replied, not noticing Bifur having returned from filling the large pot with water for breakfast to boil the veggies Bombur was slicing. “I had a dream about x.” Bilbo nodded, also not seeing Bifur, who was signing what you were saying to the onlooking Company, “And, we had this fight, and he said such cruel things about me. Then everyone else just started on with their own lists, even you and Gandalf…” Bilbo’s heart sank as he watched another tear slide down your cheek, one that nearly broke X’s heart causing him to realize a hint of feelings more than friendship for you possibly. You wiped your cheek again, “I know it’s just a dream and it’s ridiculous, and all in my head, but I just need a bit to shake it off I guess.”  
Bilbo nodded his head giving your hand another pat, “Of course, you just take all the time you need, I’m certain I can find a few diversions for everyone.” He eyed the grass around you and smiled at you, “I could ‘lose’ my handkerchief again.” A hint of a smile spread on your face bringing a flicker of happiness back into the Company’s chests, “Thorin was so livid, didn’t stop for days last time. Plenty of distraction there.”  
With a soft chuckle you replied, “Thanks Bilbo.” Missing Bifur’s relay signaling a slightly unamused scowl on Thorin’s face at being chosen as the pawn for distraction when he did have several valid points in his argument. Quietly Bifur joined the others as Bilbo left to wash his face in the stream allowing you some more time alone before his return.  
Through that day and the following weeks you are the center of a flurry of apologetic Dwarves all aiming to regain your trust and friendship even through the knowledge it was a dream. Something their kin believed to be a sign foreboding of your leaving them if they did not mend the tear properly right then.


	28. Markers

Fallen to ME au

Waking up in the middle of the Company’s sleeping pile. Instantly they are all smitten with you but with (one/couple) of them wishing to claim you as theirs.

Their only issue is the more they stare at the bits of exposed seemingly silken skin on your body they try to fight the urge to court you not wishing you to endure the painful rites of their kin’s unions. Mainly the tattoo staring at the base of the neck down the spine to the hips, that in the case of the Durin clan, would be surrounded by wings over your shoulder blades to symbolize Raven wings.

... Flash ahead to next bathing stop ...

All eyes darted to you when you started stripping. They had intended to tell you that you could bathe separate if you wished only to see the massive tattoos over your ribs down to your hips when you took off your shirt. Clearly you were not a stranger to the pain of marking yourself giving them the go ahead as it snapped their last restraining reason not to court you. 

A few steps later however they see very delicate chain and lace patterns over your ankles and feet. “Simply decorative” you explained them to be, with a pattern you loved and tweaked to your liking. 

With a sharp deep inhale your Suitor/s turned away to bathe farther down stream while the others avert their eyes. Those decorative innocently intended tattoos have a very intimate meaning to their kin. Or rather are a marker of a certain intimate act between Ones, only received when mainly the Dam is willing to give herself to her One beginning their trying for a child. Simply the sight of it drawing blood straight to an unmistakable location without a chance of hiding in this cool clear stream from you.

...

You make it to the mountain and Smaug dies with the battle won. You are simply trying to relax but no matter what you do the Company won’t allow you to move through the mountain barefoot, leading to a few crafty diversions and covers for them. All leading up to the Princes faking a prank and grabbing you by the ankles to put you in a sack faking a fetching game with your suitor/s until you’re dropped on your bed and they wrestle you into the longest pairs of socks they can find.

 


	29. What Did You Do?!

Randomly walking through the repaired Erebor one day and you keep getting blamed for the Prince’s pranks so you’ve taken to just ambushing them randomly through the day shouting, “What Did You Do?!” just to see what they will confess to.

When questioned about this by an on looking visiting Lord/King/Company member you shrug saying, “Kinda just wanted to see what they would confess to at first, now it’s just fun to catch them when they haven’t done anything.”

The other person smirks.

“Kili nearly cried when he admitted he thought he’d taken Dwalin’s toast.”


	30. Spice Rack

had an idea at work.

Building a spice rack for the Company, one each. They all have no clue what to make of the curious gifts you had given them, but pretended to know what they were after seeing all your work into them they say they will cherish them always. They end up using them for random uses.

Bur Brothers - various tools for their work

Balin/Dwalin - to hold the watches their Father crafted for them growing up

Thorin - Props his notes up with it

Fili/Kili - Dagger holder

Ri Brothers - their pen collection is housed on it

Oin/Gloin - added marbled to the shelves to form a makeshift abacus

Bilbo hosts a dinner party in his apartment they had shaped to look like Bag End and they all stare at his rack in the kitchen. Curiously they all nudge Ori closer to Bilbo to ask why he’d chosen spices to display on his gift.

Bilbo blinks, “What else would you house on a spice rack?”


End file.
